An old-reliable reality show bores us by playing nice as an unwelcome blast from past tries it super-nice
January 17, 2008
BY DOUG ELFMAN Television Critic
'American Gladiators" has been basking in great ratings. The writers strike opened the door to bring back the Nerf-y competition show because nothing else was on.
But now that "American Idol" is back on TV, can muscle-bound men and women in suits of fake armor continue to keep families watching?
"Gladiators" and "Idol" don't compete against each other directly. But there's only so much space and time on "Access Hollywood" and playgrounds to report about (or promote) one or the other. They're competing for pop culture cachet, and "Gladiators" is the clear underdog in this fight.
"Gladiators" -- already renewed for a second season -- ought to get a thumbs down sooner rather than later, or get tuned up into a tighter hour of action.
The physical feats of derring-do are idiotically fine. But they get old after a while. And it hardly matters if contestants beat each other for 50 minutes, because that only means someone gets a few seconds' head start in the final, minutes-long obstacle course ("The Eliminator").
Also, take a gander at co-host Hulk Hogan's droopy eyes. It appears as if he's four blinks from falling asleep. I don't even want to guess what material his straw-blond hair is made of.
Worst of all, contestants talk in gushy saccharine during painfully, accidentally hilarious bios meant to make us root for them.
"I've got a beautiful wife. She's my high school sweetheart," a Tennessee guy said. "I've never held another girl's hand other than hers."
Really, dude?
Then, Hogan and co-host Laila Ali are always identifying "the eye of the tiger" and telling rivals they showed "heart."
"Christie, you were unbelievable up there," Hogan told one contestant. "That was the greatest showcase of aerial wrestling I've ever seen!"
Yeah, guess what. Christie lost that showcase! And yet, she was the greatest ever, Hogan thought.
The nice-nice tone of "Gladiators" stands in stark contrast to how "American Idol" has defined itself over the years. But even "Idol" is nice-ing up.
In Tuesday's debut, Simon conjured up an "I'm sorry" to one bad singer, he hugged another sad loser and he was quieter than normal.
Simon will be Simon, of course, so he also told a crooner to shut up, cracked that another was a "fat lump," and he told one girl her audition was "exactly identical to a nightmare I had last week."
As "Idol" progresses, expect Simon and Randy to pass over pleasantries in favor of cruel-to-be-kind truths. They will get mean again. They had better, because Tuesday's sappy, happy show was a yawn.
So anyway, at their base, cheesy "Gladiator" tries to lift you up where familiar "Idol" tries to tear you down. Kind or brutal -- which type of show do you prefer? Or do they balance each other out?
BY DOUG ELFMAN Television Critic
'American Gladiators" has been basking in great ratings. The writers strike opened the door to bring back the Nerf-y competition show because nothing else was on.
But now that "American Idol" is back on TV, can muscle-bound men and women in suits of fake armor continue to keep families watching?
"Gladiators" and "Idol" don't compete against each other directly. But there's only so much space and time on "Access Hollywood" and playgrounds to report about (or promote) one or the other. They're competing for pop culture cachet, and "Gladiators" is the clear underdog in this fight.
"Gladiators" -- already renewed for a second season -- ought to get a thumbs down sooner rather than later, or get tuned up into a tighter hour of action.
The physical feats of derring-do are idiotically fine. But they get old after a while. And it hardly matters if contestants beat each other for 50 minutes, because that only means someone gets a few seconds' head start in the final, minutes-long obstacle course ("The Eliminator").
Also, take a gander at co-host Hulk Hogan's droopy eyes. It appears as if he's four blinks from falling asleep. I don't even want to guess what material his straw-blond hair is made of.
Worst of all, contestants talk in gushy saccharine during painfully, accidentally hilarious bios meant to make us root for them.
"I've got a beautiful wife. She's my high school sweetheart," a Tennessee guy said. "I've never held another girl's hand other than hers."
Really, dude?
Then, Hogan and co-host Laila Ali are always identifying "the eye of the tiger" and telling rivals they showed "heart."
"Christie, you were unbelievable up there," Hogan told one contestant. "That was the greatest showcase of aerial wrestling I've ever seen!"
Yeah, guess what. Christie lost that showcase! And yet, she was the greatest ever, Hogan thought.
The nice-nice tone of "Gladiators" stands in stark contrast to how "American Idol" has defined itself over the years. But even "Idol" is nice-ing up.
In Tuesday's debut, Simon conjured up an "I'm sorry" to one bad singer, he hugged another sad loser and he was quieter than normal.
Simon will be Simon, of course, so he also told a crooner to shut up, cracked that another was a "fat lump," and he told one girl her audition was "exactly identical to a nightmare I had last week."
As "Idol" progresses, expect Simon and Randy to pass over pleasantries in favor of cruel-to-be-kind truths. They will get mean again. They had better, because Tuesday's sappy, happy show was a yawn.
So anyway, at their base, cheesy "Gladiator" tries to lift you up where familiar "Idol" tries to tear you down. Kind or brutal -- which type of show do you prefer? Or do they balance each other out?
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