'Say whaaat?' TV memories of 2007

December 28, 2007
BY DOUG ELFMAN Television Critic

There were a lot of "say whaaat?" moments on TV this year. Britney saved her music career by looking like an idiot. A little girl cried for Sanjaya on "American Idol." And Courteney Cox made the acquaintance of a sex toy.

Here's a look back at those most memorable, notorious and "say whaaat?" moments of 2007.

VIP OF THE YEAR: Sanjaya Malakar. He squeaked by on "American Idol" for weeks and weeks, thanks partly to the locally produced Web site VoteForThe Worst.com, which convinced a nation of "Idol" bashers to vote for the thin-voiced boy. Sanjaya's flyaway hair, his light performances and the judges' obvious hatred of his voice made "Idol" must-watch TV for a while. Eventually he was voted off, and "Idol" reeked for the rest of the season.

AUDIENCE MEMBER OF 2007: The little girl who cried with joy at seeing Sanjaya on "Idol." Oh, the laughs.

BIGGEST LIE ABOUT A TV STAR: Bob Barker left "The Price Is Right" this summer after announcing his retirement in January. I asked Barker about claims in his Wikipedia bio that, as a young man, he had been a jazz-playing pig farmer who ran an illegal brothel. He laughed. "None of those things are true."

CORRECTEST FIRING: Don Imus from MSNBC. He was a boring dolt, always. What took so long?

BIGGER JERKS THAN IMUS: The corporate dipweeds who won't settle with TV writers on strike. On the one hand, execs are suing YouTube for zillions of dollars, claiming their TV shows are worth big money online. On the other hand, the same execs won't give writers money for online viewings, saying there's no profit in downloadable TV. So which is it, you lying, rich fat cats who hate people?

STOP BELIEVING: Tony and his family lived on in the finale of "The Sopranos." But bloodthirsty fans didn't want to believe this, so they assumed the climactic nothing-happened-in-a-diner scene meant Tony was about to get killed. No. He wasn't. But creator David Chase should stop acting coy and give fans what they deserve: specific answers to their questions.

SPLIT SCREEN MOMENT: Rosie O'Donnell vs. Elisabeth Hasselbeck was the fight of the year, angering O'Donnell enough to never return to "The View." The first thing I thought was, "Stupid Dennis Miller owes Elisabeth an apology." Miller had said on Fox News that O'Donnell was too smart to be derailed by Hasselbeck, implying the cute little blond was a lightweight. Wrong as usual, Miller. She got Rosie to leave.

BEST CAREER SAVER: Britney Spears sounding awful and looking worse during some MTV awards show. Somehow, this PR catastrophe slingshot her back onto the music charts. American music buyers: You're a big dummy.

The worst shows of 2007

1. "Nanny 911": screaming kids, etc.

2. "Supernanny": yelling brats, etc.

3. "Kid Nation": CBS hates children, too

4. "Ugly Betty": unwatchable catty soap

5. "Dirty Sexy Money": unwatchable rich soap

6. "John From Cincinnati": unwatchable religious/UFO surfer nightmare

7. "October Road": soapy train wreck

8. "Back to You": unfunniest sitcom

9. "Cavemen": just really horrid

10. "Kenny vs. Spenny": boring gas-passers

REALITY TV RECAP

EMACIATION PROCLAMATION

Rod Stewart's son Sean Stewart co-starred on some reality show. When I interviewed him, he talked about the female form, so I asked him what the ideal weight is for women. "Obviously, not fat, of course," he said. "I like a girl that's skinny, but definitely not emancipated, like it looks like she's skin and bones." A Freudian slip for all time.

BIGGEST BOONDOGGLE

"The Search for the Next [Pussycat] Doll" was a hit for the CW. Contestants even could sing better than "Idol" rivals. But winner Asia Nitollano didn't sign with the Dolls, a nugget of info that was kept from the public for months.

INSANEST BOBBLEHEAD

Paula Abdul is nuts on "American Idol," but her Bravo reality series "Hey Paula" showed how she's surrounded by "yes" assistants who comfort her by declaring that all Paula bashers are just jealous, while she behaves like a prima donna who tongue-lashes peons.