Couples work out 'Love' issues
September 8, 2007
BY DOUG ELFMAN Television Critic
'Tell Me You Love Me," the new HBO series premiering Sunday, lays down the most graphic sex scenes ever presented in a serious TV drama. If you watch, you might think thoughts along the lines of, "Is that actress really handling that actor's ... in her ...?"
Seriously. It's vivid. And completely distracting.
But supposedly, "Tell Me" is not about sex. It's about couples dealing with sex problems in their relationships. And, goodness gracious, do they have problems.
One wimpy husband doesn't like the way his ice-queen wife demands sex for the sole purpose of babymaking.
Another wimpy husband pleasures himself in his marriage bed while his loving wife showers, because he doesn't desire her anymore.
Yes, yes, there are submissive men on this show. They cower. They hide. They comply. And their women are not happy with such weak traits.
"Tell Me" implies weak men are indicative of American culture. Also, two characters utter lines which serve as other main themes:
• "Every couple that stops having sex ends up hating each other." (Basically true.)
• "Do you really think you're never gonna be attracted to anyone else for the rest of your life?" (Well, no, but do you really want to become a cheater?)
All of these people need to be in therapy, so they tell their problems to (and lie to) an analyst portrayed by Jane Alexander (the onetime head of the National Endowment for the Arts), whose character goes home and puts her lover's ... in her ... right there on the screen.
Actors and creators of "Tell Me" say it would be difficult to investigate the motivations of these stage play-type characters without including integral sex scenes. I think they make their case with steady direction and acting (especially by Sonya Walger, who is incredibly believable as the ice queen).
In other words, it would be shallower to see a couple fighting about sex. It's more telling to see exactly how terrible or passionate they are in the sack, on the couch and on the kitchen counter.
But since we're Americans, and we're not accustomed to seeing raw, unromanticized sex in visual fiction, viewers certainly will be awed by naked things to the detriment of storylines.
Then again, the storylines are not so much entertainingly paced as they are merely interesting, representational or too often plodding.
The tone is similar to the quite good 1998 Neil LaBute film "Your Friends & Neighbors," which followed a bunch of jerkwads and normal losers suffering sexually dysfunctional relationships.
The people in "Tell Me" aren't necessarily jerks or losers. They're just so damn incompatible. That's the thing I take away from "Tell Me" more than anything else: People will stay in relationships that don't work.
I believe they hold on because they feel possessive about their mates; they don't want anyone else to have them. Or maybe they just don't want to be single and start over. Or they're addicted to their pretty wives' faces. Or it could be they subconsciously enjoy being stuck in bad-relationship cycles.
It reminds me of a "Cheers" episode where Diane asked a therapist (John Cleese) if she and Sam could be a good couple since "opposites attract." Cleese bellowed, "Ah, yes, the song of the truly desperate."
There's only one couple in "Tell Me" that's in fairly good shape and compatible. The rest should break up, I think, and go have sex with other people until they find their real soul mates. At least one character may do just that -- and bully for her for trying.
BY DOUG ELFMAN Television Critic
'Tell Me You Love Me," the new HBO series premiering Sunday, lays down the most graphic sex scenes ever presented in a serious TV drama. If you watch, you might think thoughts along the lines of, "Is that actress really handling that actor's ... in her ...?"
Seriously. It's vivid. And completely distracting.
But supposedly, "Tell Me" is not about sex. It's about couples dealing with sex problems in their relationships. And, goodness gracious, do they have problems.
One wimpy husband doesn't like the way his ice-queen wife demands sex for the sole purpose of babymaking.
Another wimpy husband pleasures himself in his marriage bed while his loving wife showers, because he doesn't desire her anymore.
Yes, yes, there are submissive men on this show. They cower. They hide. They comply. And their women are not happy with such weak traits.
"Tell Me" implies weak men are indicative of American culture. Also, two characters utter lines which serve as other main themes:
• "Every couple that stops having sex ends up hating each other." (Basically true.)
• "Do you really think you're never gonna be attracted to anyone else for the rest of your life?" (Well, no, but do you really want to become a cheater?)
All of these people need to be in therapy, so they tell their problems to (and lie to) an analyst portrayed by Jane Alexander (the onetime head of the National Endowment for the Arts), whose character goes home and puts her lover's ... in her ... right there on the screen.
Actors and creators of "Tell Me" say it would be difficult to investigate the motivations of these stage play-type characters without including integral sex scenes. I think they make their case with steady direction and acting (especially by Sonya Walger, who is incredibly believable as the ice queen).
In other words, it would be shallower to see a couple fighting about sex. It's more telling to see exactly how terrible or passionate they are in the sack, on the couch and on the kitchen counter.
But since we're Americans, and we're not accustomed to seeing raw, unromanticized sex in visual fiction, viewers certainly will be awed by naked things to the detriment of storylines.
Then again, the storylines are not so much entertainingly paced as they are merely interesting, representational or too often plodding.
The tone is similar to the quite good 1998 Neil LaBute film "Your Friends & Neighbors," which followed a bunch of jerkwads and normal losers suffering sexually dysfunctional relationships.
The people in "Tell Me" aren't necessarily jerks or losers. They're just so damn incompatible. That's the thing I take away from "Tell Me" more than anything else: People will stay in relationships that don't work.
I believe they hold on because they feel possessive about their mates; they don't want anyone else to have them. Or maybe they just don't want to be single and start over. Or they're addicted to their pretty wives' faces. Or it could be they subconsciously enjoy being stuck in bad-relationship cycles.
It reminds me of a "Cheers" episode where Diane asked a therapist (John Cleese) if she and Sam could be a good couple since "opposites attract." Cleese bellowed, "Ah, yes, the song of the truly desperate."
There's only one couple in "Tell Me" that's in fairly good shape and compatible. The rest should break up, I think, and go have sex with other people until they find their real soul mates. At least one character may do just that -- and bully for her for trying.
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