Here's how I would end three popular serials closing out the season
April 29, 2007
BY DOUG ELFMAN Television Critic
People keep asking me how "The Sopranos" will end when it wraps its final season this spring. I have no idea. But I definitely know how I'd write the last "Sopranos" if I had the power.
In fact, springtime brings finales for quite a few shows -- season finales and series finales. I've given a lot of thought to how I'd close out three serial seasons in particular.
I'd keep Tony Soprano in power, kill Sylar on "Heroes" and make sure Jack and Audrey are reunited for good on "24."
My storyboards:
'The Sopranos'
I would continue to dunk Tony in peril. The feds are hounding him, his New Jersey families are threatened by New York mobsters and you never know if someone close to Tony will turn against him.
In the last 30 minutes, I would have Tony prevail over all hazards. To survive, he'd be put in the position to kill someone he personally doesn't want to, like Christopher.
But in the last 10 minutes, I'd send Tony to the strip club, where his crew continues to grouse and cause him low-level misery. Then, he'd go home and have to listen to the same old complaints from his family.
In the last minute, I'd seat him at a table in the well-lighted kitchen, staring ahead, distracted, stuffing too much macaroni into his drunk, dissatisfied mouth. In the background, the sound of his arguing family fills his ears.
A final song would take over the soundtrack. I'd use Peggy Lee's "Is That All There Is?" or hire someone like Leonard Cohen or David Bowie to sing a slow and depressing version of "My Way."
And fade out.
This is how I see Tony. He's a sloppy survivor of an unfortunate life of his making. He once said, "I'm like King Midas in reverse. Everything I touch turns to s---." In my ending, we'd see him reigning indefinitely under this crown of crap.
'Heroes'
In Peter's visions, he explodes atomically and destroys New York. A key to stopping this from happening is for the cast of "Heroes" to have saved Claire the cheerleader.
In the finale, it's obvious you'd have to place Claire and the other super-humans in New York to help keep Peter from going boom, since his prophecy shows the heroes congregating around him during the blast.
But the crucial ending I'd be sure to pull off is to kill Sylar, the evil superhuman anti-"hero" who's murdering other heroes. He's been a juicy, nasty piece of work. If he doesn't die, though, "Heroes" could get mired in his story line.
To kill Sylar would be taking a page from "Buffy the Vampire Slayer." One villain per year kept "Buffy" fresh. It satisfied viewers and made us look forward to the next fall's baddie. We knew there'd be a final big-bad someday, but we knew we wouldn't get "Lost" and strung along indefinitely.
I'd also send Jessica away. Her role has been the show's sole weak spot. Yeah, yeah, she's a bad mom/person on occasions when she turns evil. Whatever.
'24'
Jack Bauer already has saved Los Angeles from nuclear bomb threats this season. Now that he's gone rogue from CTU to get his lover Audrey back from bad guys, I'd make sure they ended up together for good.
As much as I enjoy the uncertainty of action plots in "24," it would be nice to see Jack get at least one steady person to stay in his life. And he and Audrey make a good match with believable chemistry.
The question is: Will Kim Raver stick around to play Audrey? Jack's Kiefer Sutherland has said plenty of times he likes working with Raver and wants Jack to settle down with her eventually, if Jack doesn't die someday.
But Raver is always signing up for other shows. She was on the ill-fated "The Nine" this season. She's in a TV pilot being considered for a fall debut. I don't wish failure on Raver's other shows, but it sure would be nice if she stayed on "24."
delfman@suntimes.com
IF IT WERE YOUR SHOW, HOW YOU END IT?
How would you write the finales for "The Sopranos" and other shows? Tell me in an e-mail (delfman@suntimes.com). Please include your first name.
BY DOUG ELFMAN Television Critic
People keep asking me how "The Sopranos" will end when it wraps its final season this spring. I have no idea. But I definitely know how I'd write the last "Sopranos" if I had the power.
In fact, springtime brings finales for quite a few shows -- season finales and series finales. I've given a lot of thought to how I'd close out three serial seasons in particular.
I'd keep Tony Soprano in power, kill Sylar on "Heroes" and make sure Jack and Audrey are reunited for good on "24."
My storyboards:
'The Sopranos'
I would continue to dunk Tony in peril. The feds are hounding him, his New Jersey families are threatened by New York mobsters and you never know if someone close to Tony will turn against him.
In the last 30 minutes, I would have Tony prevail over all hazards. To survive, he'd be put in the position to kill someone he personally doesn't want to, like Christopher.
But in the last 10 minutes, I'd send Tony to the strip club, where his crew continues to grouse and cause him low-level misery. Then, he'd go home and have to listen to the same old complaints from his family.
In the last minute, I'd seat him at a table in the well-lighted kitchen, staring ahead, distracted, stuffing too much macaroni into his drunk, dissatisfied mouth. In the background, the sound of his arguing family fills his ears.
A final song would take over the soundtrack. I'd use Peggy Lee's "Is That All There Is?" or hire someone like Leonard Cohen or David Bowie to sing a slow and depressing version of "My Way."
And fade out.
This is how I see Tony. He's a sloppy survivor of an unfortunate life of his making. He once said, "I'm like King Midas in reverse. Everything I touch turns to s---." In my ending, we'd see him reigning indefinitely under this crown of crap.
'Heroes'
In Peter's visions, he explodes atomically and destroys New York. A key to stopping this from happening is for the cast of "Heroes" to have saved Claire the cheerleader.
In the finale, it's obvious you'd have to place Claire and the other super-humans in New York to help keep Peter from going boom, since his prophecy shows the heroes congregating around him during the blast.
But the crucial ending I'd be sure to pull off is to kill Sylar, the evil superhuman anti-"hero" who's murdering other heroes. He's been a juicy, nasty piece of work. If he doesn't die, though, "Heroes" could get mired in his story line.
To kill Sylar would be taking a page from "Buffy the Vampire Slayer." One villain per year kept "Buffy" fresh. It satisfied viewers and made us look forward to the next fall's baddie. We knew there'd be a final big-bad someday, but we knew we wouldn't get "Lost" and strung along indefinitely.
I'd also send Jessica away. Her role has been the show's sole weak spot. Yeah, yeah, she's a bad mom/person on occasions when she turns evil. Whatever.
'24'
Jack Bauer already has saved Los Angeles from nuclear bomb threats this season. Now that he's gone rogue from CTU to get his lover Audrey back from bad guys, I'd make sure they ended up together for good.
As much as I enjoy the uncertainty of action plots in "24," it would be nice to see Jack get at least one steady person to stay in his life. And he and Audrey make a good match with believable chemistry.
The question is: Will Kim Raver stick around to play Audrey? Jack's Kiefer Sutherland has said plenty of times he likes working with Raver and wants Jack to settle down with her eventually, if Jack doesn't die someday.
But Raver is always signing up for other shows. She was on the ill-fated "The Nine" this season. She's in a TV pilot being considered for a fall debut. I don't wish failure on Raver's other shows, but it sure would be nice if she stayed on "24."
delfman@suntimes.com
IF IT WERE YOUR SHOW, HOW YOU END IT?
How would you write the finales for "The Sopranos" and other shows? Tell me in an e-mail (delfman@suntimes.com). Please include your first name.
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