The pariah? Not Sanjaya

April 18, 2007
BY DOUG ELFMAN
Chicago Sun-Times

Sanjaya is still the only thing to talk about on "American Idol." Maxim Online just declared him "androgynous" and named him "Today's Girl." And Tuesday night, Simon Cowell finally lost it after Sanjaya butchered "Something to Talk About."

"Utterly horrendous," Cowell said, drawing boos from a crowd that would cheer any karaoke performance anywhere. "It was as bad as anything we see at the beginning of 'American Idol.' "

Sanjaya -- wearing curls behind a scarf -- has been dubbed the worst finalist by everyone from "Idol" judges to VoteForThe Worst .com, which lobbies people to phone votes for Sanjaya in an effort to embarrass "Idol."

"I know this has been funny for a while," Cowell said of the movement to keep Sanjaya on the show. "But based on the fact that we're supposed to be finding an 'American Idol,' it was hideous."

Some of you "Idol" fans will think I'm crazy, but Sanjaya -- despite singing off-rhythm and torturing his note-bending -- was not the worst performer on Tuesday's country music night, and he hasn't been the worst for a while.

Chris stunk up the stage covering Rascal Flatts' heinous hick hit "Mayberry." Cowell correctly called Chris' vocalization nondescript, nasally, tinny and "completely and utterly insignificant."

Since Chris was a bottom-three finalist after last week's vote, he could get the ax on tonight's results show.

Or the loser could be LaKisha, the one with the big voice. She blasted off key. Cowell brutalized her. The other judges knocked her.

Then again, Blake continues to super suck. An estimated 10,000 untrained dudes on their couches would have sounded exactly as lame as him most weeks.

I don't understand why the judges keep saying nice things to Blake. Even Cowell's "I thought it was OK" was giving Blake far too much credit. I urge Cowell and the others to watch him on tape. Maybe they can't hear his croakiness live.

Also in peril is Phil. Several times he has landed in the bottom three, only to narrowly escape ejection. He sang better Tuesday than he ever has. And you know what that means: His chances of getting voted off just went up.

Because that's how "Idol" works. It's a bizarro world where the worst singers draw sympathy votes to the detriment of better performers. (This week's best were Melinda and Jordin.)

So Cowell can complain, but at least Sanjaya is entertaining. He fully commits to his songs and fashion. One week, it was a white suit. Another week, it was a faux-hawk. He merrily displays the style taste of a male impersonator.

Also to his benefit, he is not Blake. Did I mention I don't love Blake?